So today is exactly 6 months from Ben's passing. It doesn't seem like it has really been that long, but when I think about all the changes that have taken place I realize that yeah it really has been six months. Wow a half of a year has gone by without my husband. I really don't know how I got from October 21 to April 21 but somehow I am here and I am standing up and moving along. It truely is amazing how God keeps you moving forward when everything in you is holding you back. Just watching Raider grow reminds me everyday that God is continually working in us and helping us move forward. Raider doesn't fight this movement at all he just goes with the flow and lets God do his work. Where on the other hand I am fighting God all day long. Just wanting to stay in the moment and never move forward. But God knows what is best and he pushes me along forcing me to move. I wish I could just sit back and let God do the work like Raider does. Why do I always have to hold on so tight to the past when God is pulling me forward. I don't know but right now I am holding onto 6 months and not wanting tomorrow to come because that will mean that Ben will have been gone for 6 months and 1 day. Well tomorrow is going to come and again I will be okay because God will be there right by my side showing me where to go even if I don't want to go there. That is one thing that I know I can always count on.
I thought that I would share some new pictures of Raider and some video of Raider taking some of his first steps. Gosh is he a big boy now. I keep saying that I no longer have a baby I have a toddler with tantrums and all. Wow am I in for a big ride.
His First Trip to the Spokane South Hill Library.
5 comments:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the last six months. My thoughts are with you and Raider and, as always, Ben. Thanks also for the darling pictures of our little Raider! Can't wait to see you guys--Love, Aunt Nancy
Kirsten
Yesterday and today have been extremly hard. Your words and thoughts have helped me put things in perspective. thanks
I guess i cant call Raider "Sweet Baby Raids" anymore:)Time for a new nickname.
Love GrampaT
PS I love his beads!
This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice, we will rejoice and be glad in it! Amen Ben!
-Rebecca
Kirsten, Thanks for the update. I have been praying for you and Raider. You have no idea how much of an inspiration you have been. You are truely an amazing women and mother.
Brooke(Smith)Cheney
Isnt it amazing what God shows us through our children. We really should come to Him like a child.
~Lindsey
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