my new goals

So Raider is now 2 years old. The other day I was going through his newborn clothing to give to my sister for her soon to arrive baby and it just seemed like forever ago when he was wearing those tiny tiny clothes. Part of turning two is having your well child checkup and of course Raider is doing awesome. He is talking like crazy and of course his favorite word is Choo Choo Train which sounds like choo choo yah. The nice thing about Raider's well child checkups is that my doctor always checks up on me too. One of the things he suggested I work on is trying to eat better and try to get some more time for myself. My eating is pretty sporadic because I don't put much effort into making sure I eat regularly. Also I rarely get anytime for myself and tend to just schedule my life away. After I left the appointment I called my sister crying because these two goals just made me realize how alone I really am. Both of these goals were completely connected to me being by myself. I don't eat because it is just me and I don't do stuff without Raider because it is just me. But after I broke down for a bit I decided the only way to deal with loneliness is to deal with it head on so I have been working on both of these goals for the past couple weeks. I have been making myself meals at night which makes me feel really good. I love to cook but usually when I get home I just feel so exhausted and don't want to cook. What I have found is that cooking when I get home actually gives me some energy. It makes me feel like my old self. Like that wife and mother that I always dreamed of being. I guess being domestic makes me feel good. I also have eaten lunch everyday since my doctor's appointment. Breakfast on the other hand I am still trying to tackle. I am planning to bring some bagels and cream cheese to work and just eat breakfast during coffee break everyday. The taking time for myself was pretty overwhelming to me though I do have to admit. The day after my doctor's appointment I met with my counselor who helped me break this goal down into something more manageable. He said he wanted me to go out to a movie at least once a month. I can handle and afford that. Now I just need to find people to go with me. This Friday I am going to go out with some friends to one of those paint your own pottery places and I am super excited. I am really trying to work on these goals. I know they are extremely important for my health and for my healing. Let's just hope this is something that I can keep up with.