Wow, things have changed!!

So over the weekend I was given a copy of a documentary that I am in.  The documentary is about God's call and vocation in life when we are going through changes.  Obviously mine was about me losing Ben and adjusting to being a single parent and how my vocation fits into that.  The documentary came out great.    As I was watching it though I felt like I was almost watching a different person.  The filming took place last school year.  In June I felt like I came out of the depression that I had been experiencing since Ben died.  So when the filming was going on I was definitely in a state of depression.  I could see it in my eyes, in my body posture and even in my voice and how I spoke of my situation.  I felt so badly for that girl.  I knew exactly what she was going through but I had come out on the other side.  I felt like speaking out loud to myself on the screen and saying, don't worry it is going to be okay.  You are doing great, look at all the blessings around you.  I just didn't want the me in the documentary to be feeling how she obviously was feeling.

At the same time I felt bad for the me in the video I also was so aware of how far I have come now.  I am so happy to be where I am right now.  I am really starting to look forward to whatever my future may hold.  I am ready to do something, go somewhere, be happy and enjoy the simple things in life.

I finally feel like I have friends here in Spokane and I don't need to drive home to Wenatchee every other weekend.  My life is still incredibly busy but it is because I am going out and doing things for myself and having fun.  I no longer hate time alone.  I love weekends where I don't have anything to do and can just stay home and hang out with Raider.

Things have definitely come a long way over the past two years.  But the journey is not done.  There is still a long way for me to go and I am so excited about what that journey will be.  I am hopeful for my future and can't wait to see what will happen next.